Updated: Aug 22, 2021
Sometimes your circle is filled with many persons who you consider to be important to you. You may even regard many of them as friends. Having positive and supportive people in your life is always a good thing. They build you up, are supportive, and rejoice in your successes. They also bring meaning and value to your life. But sometimes, a circle is not always positive. In reality, that circle might be the very source that is feeding your negative energies - trapping you in a vicious cycle of needless emotional highs and lows, self-doubt, and anxiety. A closer look, however, might reveal that this circle is, in fact, a reflection and depiction of your own lack of self-worth and self-love. We often attract what we are.
I often wondered why I effortlessly attracted some of the most toxic personalities'- the needy ones who simply took everything but offered little. They consumed most of my time but somehow never seemed to have enough - always craving and requiring even more. I was the one they would 'choose' to call whenever they "needed to feel better." But in reality, I was nothing more than a dumping ground for their emotional toxicities. I made myself available. I was complicit.
I often granted these personalities easy access and constant audience. They seemed to always have a problem that needed a solution, a sob story that needed a listening ear, or some rant they needed to let loose at any undetermined time. In the beginning, their 'plight of the day' would elicit feelings of compassion, empathy, and kindness from me. But ultimately, those feelings turned to sheer exhaustion, frustration, and apprehension. I never really understood this dynamic. After all, my ego had made me feel useful, helpful, and good. But note well, the ego is equally just as powerful in the user as it is in the fixer. They were using me and I was complicit.
During this time, however, I began to awaken to a greater understanding of who I was and what it meant to consciously navigate this world with intention and purpose. The more I paid attention, the more I realized that I was in fact the magnet that attracted the very things and persons I did not need or really cared for. My discomfort became even more palpable as I began to engage in practicing positive thinking and presence of mind. This was causing my interactions with them to be painful and contrary to everything I was striving towards. I had to let go and move on. So I gradually pulled away and have not looked back since. And I have absolutely no regrets.
I now understand that one's choice in people changes as one begins to become more aware and when one begins to grow. When you value and love yourself, you will naturally align yourself with those who bring meaning and substance to your life. Only the light can walk comfortably with the light. Tell yourself, then, that it is ok to walk away from things and persons who no longer contribute positively to your growth and overall development. Feel no guilt or shame. Those are wasted emotions.
Those who seek to steal your energy and happiness are calculating and bold. The emotionally vulnerable and/or unsuspecting often become(s) their target. While you might be thinking that your efforts are noble and helpful, they are busy weaving their web of manipulation, deceit, and control all around you. Break free! Walk away! Remember, you are never alone. Your happiness and peace of mind are way too priceless and precious. Value them, hold on to them, cherish them. But walk away!